Chris Brown has released a statement to the press regarding his recent alleged attack on pop star Rihanna: I thought she was a Zombie.After many days of silence after the shocking attack outside of the Grammy's, Chris Brown brought the drama up again with his prepared statement that Rihanna was of the Living Dead:
"Her were eyes glowing and she started talking about brains. I had to defend myself against what I thought was an imminent Zombie attack."
Rihanna could not be reached for comment, although the silence from her publicist's camp is generally not seen as a good sign. More reports are coming in by the hour that she may in fact have turned.
The Los Angeles Police Department released this statement Wednesday :"If there are allegations of Zombieism, then we must investigate every accusation. The nation's Walking Dead are not to be taken lightly. Everyone remembers what happened when we unknowingly had a zombie president for eight years."
However, skeptics are doubting Mr. Browns story and dismissing it as a red herring. Trial Lawyer Bernard Maynard had this to say: "He is quite obviously setting up for a zombie defense. It is a very hard defense to overcome, even if Rihanna is not of the Evil Living. It's especially smart because of the nation's climate of Zombie-Fear right now. There will be a lot of sympathetic jurors."
In the meantime, Chris Brown was tested for Zombieism as a precautionary measure and was cleared when he did not devour the brains of a freshly slain homeless man.
More news as the story develops.
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