New Book Teaches How to Survive Suicide

The authors of the Worst Case Scenario books are back to tackle a very important subject : suicide. During a "cry for help" suicide attempt there is the very real possibility that you may actually die. So what are the best ways to survive one without making it look like you wanted to live? Worst Case Scenario: Suicide Edition explores this concept.

The authors have some great tips for suiciders, such as these:

1 If you shoot yourself in the head with a gun, attempt to land on a pillow when you fall. This may help with clotting.

2 If you cut your wrists (up the road, not across the tracks) hop in your bathtub and use cold water, not warm. This will slow down the blood flow.

3 If you jump off a tall building, hit the ground feet first then roll onto your calf, thigh, buttock, then torso, in that order. This will absorb the fall equally over your body.


And many more. This helpful book goes on sale in Summer.

Random Funny Picture of the Week

I have no idea what is going on in this picture but it made me laugh, so there you go. More pictures can be found at moronail.net Site is NSFW.

Five WTF Moments From 80's Comedies

Lots of us turned to comedies in the 80's to make us laugh. Somewhere along the line, however, the scripts had some very bizarre moments that, when you look back on them, made you laugh in a different way. Here is a list of 5 WTF moments in 80's comedies:


1) Well let's get this Happy Days moment out of the way. A lot of people know about this, and it even spawned a website and a phrase "jumped the shark". Jumping the shark is considered the point at which a show has gone downhill so bad that it is no longer able to be saved. Look at the daisy duke and leather jacket combo. Because you want to still be stylish and practical whilst jumping a man eating shark. Because that's what he's doing. Jumping over a shark. On waterskis.

2) This Saved By the Bell WTF moment is made all the weirder by the girly screams in the audience, the delighted look on Kellie and Jessie's faces and the fact that Slater's man-buldge is being cradled especially tight. Add in the break-away pants and you pretty much have all the elements for a gay porn.

3) I'm not sure at which point Family Matters added the "Steevil" puppet character, but I assume it was added with about as much thought as went into the mysterious disappearance of one of their daughters. Also, note that instead of coming out of, say, a closet or out from underneath the bed, it comes out of the toilet. This raises all sorts of questions, none of which I want answered.

4) Ahh Perfect Strangers. I loved this show... about a Single grown man who takes in a immigrant who can't speak english well...and lets him live with him...and...holy crap why are they staring at each other that way?!




5) Mr. Belvedere went from subject matter such as, "Wesley's hamster has gotten loose somewhere in the house" and "Wesley is upset when he and three other classmates are the only ones who are not invited to a fellow classmates party" to WESLEY GETS MOLESTED.


What the hell were they thinking? Does anyone realize how many years of therapy it would take someone to get over being molestated? It's not something you can wrap up in an episode. Anyways, if you are getting your molestation advice from a sitcom, you already need years of therapy.


If you liked this article, you might like this one, about great 80's movies.

NASCAR News: Kyle Busch Wins in Vegas by Driving Fast

Kyle Busch won the Vegas Shelby 427 Sprint Cup race Sunday, his first ever win in Vegas. His strategy? "Driving really fast," he told the reporters waiting to interview him.

Asked about his training regiment, he had this to say: "Well I took a brick, right, and tied it to my right foot, which is where the gas pedal is in a car, right, and just imagined that I was pressing down on the gas pedal with that foot."

Busch came from absolute last place to take the lead. Asked about how he overcame that deficit, he had some words of advice for his fellow racers, "The other drivers might not be pressing down on the gas pedal all the way, and that is incorrect. You must press the gas pedal down all the way. That is how you go faster. Might I suggest the brick strategy."

Asked if he had any other thoughts, he suggested that "Some of the drivers may have had their left foot resting on the brake pedal the whole race. That, too, is incorrect. The brake pedal will not make you go faster."

Busch leaves Vegas tomorrow to celebrate with his family.

Article Featured in Issue of Carnival of Satire.

My article on Chris Brown has made its way into the 111th edition of Carnival of Satire! Check it out if you haven't already. Thanks to Mark A. Raynor for adding the article. Check out his site, The Skwib.

Oh and on a non-related note, visitors - comments are easy, you don't have to sign up, and I appreciate them!

Thanks for your support,
KOS