Swine Flu: Attention Whore.

Swine Flu, the trendy disease that took the nation by storm nearly 4 months ago, is apparently still around. Swine Flu mysteriously has yet to be deterred by the fact that the world has more important things to discuss now, such as Michael Jackson's death and President Obama's birth certificate.

Seems to me that Swine Flu needs to get the hint. Look, buddy, you were a hot topic for a minute, and you broke the monotony of our everyday safe lives, but it's over now. Don't pull a Britney on us and wig out because you aren't getting enough attention.

I heard that you are still killing people all over the world. No, no, no...that's the worst way to go about this. You need to fade out with some dignity if you ever want to be taken seriously again. Just take the money that you got from your past publicity stunt, invest it well, lay low, and wait for VH1 to contact you about being on a reality show in 6 years. Seriously, you don't want to end up being a walking joke, like Pauly Shore or something.