Police: Necrophiliac Wants Death Penalty

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Police say that 42 year old Gilbert Esron had sex with over 50 corpses in his four year employment at Deer Meadow Funeral Home, and now he wants the death penalty. The reason? So that he can touch himself.

While on the stand, Esron had this to say,"There are no corpses in jail and I'm only attracted to dead people. My only hope is to abuse myself after I'm dead."

When informed that the charges against him did not carry the possibility of capital punishment, and furthermore questioning the logic of the defendant's statement, the defendant tried to grab the gun from court security, presumably to kill himself.

The defendant was restrained and the trial continued without incident.